PolitiWars Episode V: The Donald Strikes Back
by CamusPessimist
Summary: It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Trump Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have got the Rebels on the run. Evading the dreaded Imperial TrumpFleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Ted Cruz has set up a secret base on Sarah Palin's homeward of Hoth. The evil lord Darth Trump, obsessed with finding Cruz, has dispatched drones into the far reaches of space
1. Chapter 1

[A Trump Destroyer is sailing through the vast darkness of space and releases drone droids from its belly. These drones were just recently approved by the Senate Judiciary Committee by means of finding the rebel base and gathering information].

[One of these drones heads towards the desolate ice planet Hoth and crashes into the snow].

[The drone quietly flies out from the smoke and snow and floats across the frozen tundra, searching for any signs of life].

[Meanwhile, Ted Cruz rides on his tauntaun through the frozen landscape, and his trusted steed stops in its track, looking at the small debris that crashed. He grabs his binoculars and examines the crash site].

Ted: Bush 41 to Bush 43. Marco, ol pal, do you copy?

Marco Rubio: Loud and clear, Ted. What's up?

Ted: I just finished my rounds for the 60th time. And, like the past 60 times, I haven't detected any life forms.

Marco: Well, that's quite shocking news. I did all I had to do and I'm gonna head back to the base before the precincts close. You should hurry too.

Ted: Yeah, yeah, I'll be there in a bit, don't want to miss those precincts. I saw a bit of an explosion close by, I'm gonna check it out.

Marco: I'm sure it's nothing, just probably another North Korean missile flop.

Ted: Whatever it is, I'm gonna check it out. Won't take long.

[Ted puts away his comlink and his steed becomes uneasy].

Ted: Wow, wow, easy there, girl. What's the matter? Pelosi propose more anti-gun legislation?

[Suddenly, a giant, white wampa emerges in front of him].

Ted: Holy crap, Dick Cheney!

[The wampa smacks Ted unconscious and grabs the tauntaun, and then it begins to drag the corpse and Ted back to its lair].


	2. Chapter 2

[Marco arrives back at the rebel base, where he enters the main hangar to see his copilot, Newt Gingrich, repairing their ship, the _Millennium Falcon_ ].

Marco: Hey, Newtgie!

Newt: Jesus Christ, Marco, I told you to quit calling me that! We aren't in 1994 anymore.

Marco: Alright, alright, don't lose your temper, jeez. And to think I'd make you VP.

Newt: I'm sorry, Marco, but the Senate just passed a bill that people with low credit scores on their ships have to pay more for their premiums in Alaska.

Marco: Newt, this isn't Alaska.

Newt: Well it sure as hell looks like it. And feels like it too. I know because Sarah Palin dragged me all the way up there. Now can you give me a hand with this?

Marco: Yeah, I'll be right back, gotta inform the senior chair that I did whatever my job was.

Newt: Sounds like you just got back from another Senate session.

[Continues to work as Marco walks to the command center in the base].

General Tom Carper: Rubio, you're back just in time. The precincts just closed, biggest voter turnout of all time.

Marco: Biggest voter turnout? Who in their right mind would live in this place? Not dissing the good citizens of Hoth, of course, I love the Hothians or Hothites or Hothburgs.

General Carper: Did Commander Cruz check back in yet?

Marco: I have no idea, I spoke to him a while ago. He said he was checking out some debris. Probably Kim Jong Un trying to launch another missile again.

General Carper: That's the last thing we need, is for North Korea to find our location first.

Random Precinct Worker: Sir, the results are in!

Marco: I can't stay here, General, I don't want to know.

Random Precinct Worker: And it looks like Trump wins again…

Marco: What place did I get?

Random Precinct Worker: Um, third.

Marco: Ah, G-d, are you kidding me?

General Carper: Marco, I'm sorry to hear that.

[Marco's tantrum catches the attention of Princess Hillary Clinton, who is standing nearby and watches Rubio storm out of the base. She promptly follows.]

Hillary: Wait, Marco!

Marco: Yes, Your Highness, what does thou request?

Hillary: You said you were going to stay and fight on the side of the rebellion!

Marco: Well, the bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mantell changed my mind.

Hillary: Marco, for the last time, that was not a bounty hunter, that was a lobbyist for the NRA persuading you to get the gun agenda on the Senate floor.

Marco: I don't care, he changed my mind regardless. Besides, I came in third for the Hoth primaries! Third!

Hillary: But don't you always come in third?

Marco: Yeah, I do, but on this planet? The only things that live here are giant polar bears that look like Dick Cheney and two-legged reindeers! I mean, third place!

Hillary: Marco, it's fine, it's not the end of the galaxy.

Marco: Easy for you to say, you still somehow get superdelegates from this frozen wasteland.

Hillary: Well, it's probably because I promised the EPA complete jurisdiction here to provide safe water for-

Marco: Okay, I see. You don't need me. What you need is Ted. He came in second. I'm outta here. [storms off]

[Meanwhile, on the other side of the base, John Kasich and his droid companion, a drone, are walking through the corridors.]

Kasich: Fourth place isn't bad considering only two people came to vote. It doesn't matter, we still have plenty of time. We still have the support of people. First we're going to win Ohio, and then we're going to win the galaxy.

[The two then emerge in the hangar where Marco and Newt are repairing the _Falcon_ ].

Marco: Jesus Christ, Newt, you may have gotten more legislation passed in the House than any other Speaker, but you can't even fix a damn starship? No wonder our credit score is so high!

Newt: I told you we should've renewed our auto insurance so we could've gotten full coverage!

Kasich: Hey, Marco, good job getting third place in today's primaries.

Marco: Screw off, pretzel face.

Kasich: I'm kidding, I'm kidding, just be lucky that Hoth only has two delegates to the nominating convention, and they're literally just two snowmen. Anyways, Princess Clinton has been trying to reach you for a while now, so she sent me down here to come and let you know.

Marco: I'm not interested in chatting with Princess Clinton or Secretary Clinton or Senator Clinton or First Lady Clinton or President Clinton or whatever she calls herself nowadays.

Kasich: Oh, well she was just curious about Ted. You see, there was a .4% voting difference between him and Donald Trump, and wanted to congratulate him, but he didn't report in apparently.

Marco: I don't know where he is, probably got captured by the North Koreans.

Kasich: Nobody knows where he went, sir.

Marco: Nobody? Wait, does this mean I'm in second place now?

Kasich: Assuming he's dead.

Marco: [bites wrist] I might need him to go head-to-head with Trump, maybe then if I save his life he'll make me VP. Yo, Kasich, how many VPs became President?

Kasich: Well, let's see, there's-

Marco: Nevermind, let me ask one of these guys.

[Walks over to an officer]

Marco: Hey, did Commander Cruz ever check in by chance?

Officer: Um, doesn't say here, no.

Marco: Alright, lend me one of those speeders.

Officer: Wait, what? No! We don't have any warranty on them yet!

Marco: Then I'll just go out on this two-legged reindeer. [Jumps on a tauntaun]

Officer: Are you out of your mind, Rubio? You're from Florida, ain't no way you're gonna survive in that kind of weather!

Marco: This Florida boy gets around.

[Marco jumps on a tauntaun and then rides off into the blizzard night].


	3. Chapter 3

[Meanwhile, Ted regains consciousness and realizes he's upside-down and stuck to the icy ceiling of the cave. He begins to look around and sees bones everywhere and spots the wampa gnawing on his tauntaun. He then spots his lightsaber stuck in the snow below him, and he begins to concentrate and use the Force, and little by little the lightsaber begins to move. The wampa spots this and begins to head towards him. Ted then is able to grab the lightsaber and cuts himself free, and while the wampa approaches him, Ted slices its arm off and it screams in pain. Ted then runs out of the icy cave into the blizzardy night and falls to the ground in exhaustion. As he slowly lifts his head, he sees the blue ghost of Bernie Sanders appear before him].

Ted: Am I starting to imagine things now?

Bernie: Ted… Ted…

Ted: Bernie, is that you? Did you come back to haunt me as a ghost now?

Bernie: No, no, I'm here to aid you, but I admit this is pretty cool that I'm a blue ghost. Also, I can no longer continue my campaign against Secretary Clinton because apparently the FEC categorizes ghost money as soft money since they can't see the donations. Anyways, I'm gonna make this short cause other people want to use the ghost projector. You're gonna go to the Dagobah system.

Ted: The what now?

Bernie: The Dagobah system. There you will learn from what one of the greatest conservatives who ever lived, President Ronald Reagan.

Ted: Wait, Reagan's dead, he should be a ghost like you.

Bernie: Eh, turns out _Fox News_ was right when they've been saying he's alive and went into hiding. Trust me, this is gonna be hooooge for you, you're gonna learn a lot. Now, I gotta go, if you need to call me, send me a letter, because that what's the middle-class people do, and I am a middle-class person!

Ted: The middle-class people use SMS texting and Facebook messenger to keep in touch…

[Bernie's ghost vanishes right when Marco and his tauntaun arrive out of nowhere].

Marco: Ted, hey, buddy, guess what! You came in second in the primary! Congrats! Just remember this little incident of me saving you when you want to choose a VP, okay?

[Marco helps Ted, who is slowly losing consciousness. He then sees his tauntaun fall over and die, and then grabs Ted's lightsaber to open up the tauntaun's belly, it's guts spilling out.

Marco: Oh, man, that's nasty.

Ted: Dagobah… Ronald Reagan…

Marco: What about Reagan? [grunts] Okay, here you go, it's not the best mansion in Texas, but it's warm. [stuffs Ted inside the tauntaun]. Man, and I thought Harry Reid smelled bad on the outside.

[The next day, a couple of snowspeeders head out and scout the horizon].

Pilot: Commander Cruz, Captain Rubio, do you copy? Hello, anyone there? Please, someone answer, please, I don't want John Kasich to be the only one running against Donald Trump.

Marco: Read you loud and clear, pilot. We're over here.

[The pilots all sigh relief and then head over to where Marco and Ted are located. The speeders pick them up and transport them back to the base, where Ted is put into a bacta tank and is wearing a diaper. Present are Marco, Clinton, Kasich, and the drone].

[Hillary pulls out her cell phone to take a picture and laughs, and Marco looks over].

Marco: Hey, what do you think you're doing?

Hillary: I'm gonna save this picture just in case I run against Ted in the general elections. How does this caption sound: "Cruz: Acts like a baby and looks like one too." [laughs loudly]

Marco: Hey, look, I just stuffed this guy into a bunch of tauntaun guts that smelled like Harry Reid, give him a break.

Hillary: Oh, I like that. "Ted: Desperately looking for guts." Get it, cause Ted doesn't have guts, haha. I really am funny and that's what makes me such a likeable person.

Marco: Don't you already have enough problems with your cell phone?

[Later on, Ted fully recovers and is sitting in the recuperating room, where Kasich and the drone enter].

Kasich: There's our second place winner, haha. Congrats again Ted, I'm proud of you.

[Marco and Newt walk in]

Marco: Best of all, kid, is that Obamacare has no jurisdiction in this part of the galaxy, so you're getting covered by privatized insurance.

Ted: [takes a deep breath] Oh, thank the Lord.

Marco: [whispers] Hey, just remember, when you're looking for a VP, hook me up.

[Princess Clinton enters the room and Marco looks smugly at her].

Marco: Well, Ted, you might want to check your Twitter feed in a few days, don't be surprised when you get a lot of mentions.

Hillary: Har, har, aren't you just a scream?

Marco: It seems like your little ploy to keep me here has worked. Am I just that irresistible?

Hillary: Sure, in your dreams, laser brain.

[Newt begins to giggle]

Marco: Laugh it up, fuzzball.

Hillary: Hey, that's not very nice.

Marco: And why don't you bark it up, fuzzball, like you did in Reno?

Hillary: Still using that against me, huh? I was just imitating what every Republican sounds like to me.

Marco: Ted, you should've seen this bimbo, trying to prevent me from leaving so I might come out and support her presidency.

Hillary: What, why, you, you... Stuck up, racist, sexist, bigot, homophobe, scruffy-looking, nerf-herder!

Marco: Hey, I do not herd nerfs, nor do I even know what a nerf is! I hope that's not some sort of Cuban joke. But you see, Ted, when the Ds have nowhere else to go, they go to the name calling.

Ted: By Ds do you mean Donald Trump?

Marco: Ted, I just saved your life, the least you can do is support me here.

Hillary: I guess you don't much about Democrats then, do you?

[Hillary walks over to Ted and then kisses him, and the whole room turns silent, and Ted grins and puts his hands behind his head, and Hillary walks up].

Marco: Hey, buddy, look, your brain still might have some ice chunks on it, but Hillary Clinton just kissed you.

Ted: Oh, G-d! [spits and wipes his mouth]


	4. Chapter 4

[Meanwhile, a voice comes over the intercom warning all important people to come to the command center for a briefing. General Carper, Princess Clinton, Marco, Newt, and Kasich are looking at a screen].

General Carper: Hey, Rubio, remember when you thought that thing that hit the snow was a failed North Korean missile?

Marco: Yeah, why?

General Carper: Well, unless the North Koreans actually have done something right for once, this thing is moving and is communicating with an unidentifiable source.

Kasich: Please, let me handle this, decoding languages is one of my jack of all trades. [listens closely]. Yep, it's the Imperials, we're screwed.

Marco: Now, now, wait a minute, me and Newt will go check it out.

[Marco and Newt stealthily leave the base and head out towards the drone's position. The drone then detects the movements and begins firing missiles all over the place, in which Marco jumps out of the snow and begins shooting, but then the drone self-destructs].

Hillary: What was the thing?

Marco: A drone. I told the Senate this would happen, but do they listen to me?

Hillary: It's definitely not the North Koreans or Iran. It has to be the Imperials.

General Carper: In that case, we gotta get the hell out of here.

[Meanwhile, elsewhere in the galaxy, Admiral Jim Gilmore and Captain Rand Paul, aboard a Trump Destroyer, begin analyzing a computer with the info that the drone from Hoth transmitted].

Paul: Yep, it's definitely the rebels.

Gilmore: And how are you so sure? How do you know it's not the Green Party or Occupy Wall Street?

Paul: What's the Green Party going to be doing on a planet with no trees?

Gilmore: Irrelevant. I want evidence. I want proof. This isn't proof, just a few small eskimo shelters. Sarah Palin is just probably hiding from the Russians again!  
Paul: Jim, the readings say right here that's there are life forms! Not two, not four, but a bunch! If I were a rebel I would hide here!

Gilmore: That's Admiral Gilmore to you, Captain Paul, just remember that.

[As the two begin to bicker, Darth Donald Trump walks in and stands behind the two.]

Trump: What are you two clowns arguing about now?

Paul: Sir, I have reason to believe we have found the rebel base.

Trump: Well it's about damn time we found this base. Three years it takes, three years!

Gilmore: Lord Trump, we can't be sure that this is them. I mean, it could be a hideout for smugglers or the Green Party or the Occupy Wall Street-

Trump: Jim, I don't think you know what you're talking about, okay? You won 12 votes in Iowa and 133 votes in New Hampshire, clearly people don't trust you. You know, frankly, you're not a trusty guy, and I don't know who appointed you to be admiral, but really, you have no idea what you're talking about. And the people agree too! That is the rebel base we've been searching for, and I bet your wives that Lyin' Ted is with them too. Now do whatever you have to do and send us to this Hoth planet and let's carpet bomb the hell out of these guys, okay? Is that so hard?

Gilmore: And, if I may ask, Lord Trump, what if we end up "bombing the hell" out of innocent civilians?

Trump: Look, you don't have to be a total genius to figure this out, even though I am a genius, I have a very high IQ, just ask myself. I'm more militaristic than anybody standing here right now, let's be clear, and I love war in a certain way, but only when we win. By the way, when was the last time we won a war? I mean the last time we were in a war our billion-dollar enterprise got blown up by a bunch of f***ing liberals for crying out loud. Let's try to win this one and have my poll numbers go up higher, okay?


	5. Chapter 5

[Meanwhile, inside the rebel base, rebels are running everywhere, preparing weapons and loading ships for the evacuation. In the medical bay, Ted is preparing his pilot gear.]

Medical droid: Are you fully stable to fly a speeder?

Ted: Of course I am, Marco says I have privatized insurance, we should be fine.

Medical droid: No, sir, I think that was only for health insurance.

Ted: Whatever, the emergency room can't deny me help. We'll be fine.

[Ted then runs to the hangar where he heads to the _Falcon_ and sees Marco and Newt repairing it].

Ted: Newtgie, take care of yourself, alright?

Newt: I hope you burn up in your speeder and die.

Ted: Well, okay then. Hey, Marco!

Marco: Well, Ted, this is it.

Ted: Yep. Next time I see you, the Tatooine precincts should be closed. I mean, Texas and Tatooine are basically the same place, they're both deserts, I'm guaranteed an easy victory.

Marco: You're rubbing it in again, Ted.

Ted: I'm sorry, kid. Take care.

Marco: Yeah, you too.

[Darth Trump sits in his little hair bubble meditating until General Lindsey Graham walks in].

Trump: Jesus Christ, do you know how to knock?

General Graham: Apologies, sir. I just wanted to update you that the rebels have this energy field surrounding the planet that protects it from any sorts of bombardments, so we cannot commence the "bomb the hell out of these guys" order.

Trump: My, G-d, you spend $100 billion on this new equipment and we can't even send one bomb down there to blow these guys up. Is this a joke? Is this really a joke? Cause if it is, I'm not laughing. I don't like jokes, to be honest, unless, unless it's about Rosie O'Donnell, then it's funny, but otherwise no jokes for me.

General Graham: No, sir, it's not a joke. And on a sidenote, Admiral Gilmore entered out of hyperspace a little too early and the rebels detected our presence.

Trump: Jeez, what is with this guy? You know, I want to know who promoted him… no, I want to know who the hell hired this guy to the Imperial army. He's a disgrace, a total disgrace, shouldn't even be in this army. I tell him, 'No, Jim, listen to me, make sure when you come out of hyperspace you don't get the ships too close to the planet so they can detect us,' and what does this idiot do, he does exactly that. Unbelievable this guy, completely unbelievable. Now, General Graham, get the troops ready and get these guys already.

[General Graham leaves and Darth Trump spins in his chair and turns on a monitor with Gilmore and Paul].

Gilmore: Ah, Lord Trump, I have good news. We are just prepared to… agh

[Trump begins to Force choke Gilmore]

Trump: Look, I like you, Jim, you're a nice guy, okay? I just don't think you're really qualified for this type of work, so you know what? You're fired.

[Gilmore drops to the floor dead and Paul looks in anguish]

Trump: Rand, as much as I hate to say this, like literally, like I think I'm gonna have to go get an expensive foot massage after saying this, but I leave you in charge.

Paul: [all jittery] Oh, my gosh, really? Me, admiral? Oh, this is so wonderful, Donald, thank you! And I am completely sorry for anything I said about you during the Republican debates.

Trump: Okay, calm down Rand, and I don't feel sorry for what I said about you. Just get our guys on the ground away from this energy thing and make sure none of these guys gets away, okay? Simple enough?

Paul: Yes, I completely understand, Lord Trump. Will do.


	6. Chapter 6

[Inside the rebel base, Princess Hillary is debriefing the pilots in the hangar].

Hillary: So we're gonna have the big ships with all the important stuff on them go past the Trump Destroyers with escort by some little ships that will provide support. Can I make that any simpler?

Pilot: Wow, wow, two small ships against a Trump Destroyer? Are you high again, Hillary?

Hillary: [weird laugh] No, I'm not, nor have I ever been, except when the marijuana PACs endorse me, then yes, yes I have. Our ion cannon will bang bang a few of those ships and you should be good to go. Any questions? Already, let's kick some Donald ass.

[All the pilots scurry to the snowspeeders and fire them up. Outside the base, troops rush to the trenches and ready the cannons and their rifles. Inside the command center, General Carper and Princess Hillary are watching the battle unfold. One of the rebel carriers along with two X-Wings depart from the hangar and fly into space, where the Imperial fleet is waiting].

Controller: Sir, rebel ships incoming.

Captain: Good, our first catch of the day.

Controller: Wait, but sir, there's no license on those vehicles. Shouldn't we report them as being stolen?

Captain: Shut up and shoot the ships.

[The ion cannon fires from the ground and hits the Trump Destroyer, and the carrier and two X-Wings are able to pass it and escape. Inside the hangar, rebels begin to cheer. Ted runs into one of the snowspeeders with his co-pilot and gunner, Rick Santorum].

Rick: Hey, Ted, how the elections going?

Ted: Going good as usual. How are the elections going for… oh, yeah, my bad.

Rick: Why do you think I joined the rebellion? To get away from guys like you, but now you come back and ruin it all.

Ted: Hey, can't help it when you look like LBJ.

[The speeders take off from the hangars, and the troops outside spot approaching AT-AT walkers. The walkers begin to fire at the rebels, who return the fire but have no effect. The snowspeeders then fly over the horizon and head towards the giant tanks].

Ted: Alright, boys, you know what to do.

Rick: What are we supposed to do?

Ted: The attack formation, Rick, weren't you paying attention to any of the instructions?

Rick: Nah, I was just thinking about the roses again.

Ted: The roses?

[The speeders loop around the gigantic tanks as they attempt to fire at the ships. The speeders then all begin to turn around and fire at the tanks but to no avail].

Ted: Wow, Donald, you actually put your money to good use for once.

[Ted pilots the speeder in front of the lead AT-AT and then dives underneath its belly].

Ted: Hobbie, you still with me?

Hobbie: Rogue Three to Teddy Bear, I'm still with ya.

Ted: I want you fellas to use your harpoons and tow cables. No laser blasts will take down these things. Do you copy, Rick?

Rick: What? Oh, yeah, sorry, I was just preparing my campaign slogan for 2020: "Rick, the People's Pick."

Ted: Yeah, well, if you don't shoot those cables there ain't gonna be a 2020, ya hear? And as a side note, maybe "Rick: The People's Prick."

[Ted turns the speeder around towards the legs of one of the AT-ATs].

Rick: Wait a sec, Ted, the harpoon ain't working!

[All of a sudden, there's an explosion in the back that electrocutes Rick].

Ted: Rick? Rick? Well, that's one less guy we got to worry about in the 2020 primaries.

[Inside the lead AT-AT, General Graham is observing the battle and talking to a hologram of Darth Trump].

General Graham: Yes, Lord Trump, I've reached the main power generator. The shield will be down in moments. You may prepare the landing party.

Trump: This is great, this is absolutely great. This is fantastic. Keep pushing on your assault, Lindsey.

[Meanwhile, in the ensuing chaos, Ted relays a message to another snowspeeder piloted by House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy].

Ted: Kevin, I lost Rick. I leave the shot up to you. I'll cover you.

Kevin: Oh, good, I hated that guy. Other units, prepare for defense maneuver HR 1773.

[Kevin pilots his snowspeeder until one of the legs of the AT-AT and comes around. His co-pilot fires the harpoon and it attaches to one of the legs of the AT-AT].

Co-pilot: Alright, I got a shot!

Kevin: Alright, gotta make a circle…

[Kevin steers the snowspeeder around the legs of the AT-AT numerous times until the cable is wrapped around its ginormous legs].

Kevin: Let 'er go!

[The cable detaches and when the AT-AT takes another step it trips and falls flat onto the ground. The rebel soldiers in the trenches cheer as Kevin comes back around and shoots the AT-AT's neck].

[Meanwhile, inside the command center]

General Carper: We can't send two carriers at once, that's risky.

Hillary: We don't have much of a choice, we gotta get out of here before the gun lobbyists arrive.

[Inside the hangar]

Marco: Jesus, Newt, we gotta get out of here now! Hurry up with those repairs!

Newt: I'm telling ya, we made a mistake not signing up with that auto insurance company.

Kasich: You take care now, Drone, and take care of Master Ted, too, he's the only good chance the Republicans have got of winning the election.

[General Graham looks through his scopes at the power generator straight ahead]

General Graham: Concentrate all firepower on the main generator. Let's show these rebels scum what true global warming looks like.

[Ted pilots his speeder around the AT-ATs, making large loops. All of a sudden, one of the AT-ATs shoots the back of his speeder, and the speeder begins to malfunction and sparks fly all over the place. He then steers his speeder straight into the ground and it glides along the ice].

Ted: I should've listened to that medical robot about the privatized insurance.

[Meanwhile, Marco rushes to the command center, which is beginning to cave in].

Marco: Hillary, my G-d, you're still alive!

Hillary: [dusting off debris] Well of course, I'm the only chance the Democrats have of winning the election. Didn't you already leave?

Marco: Obviously I haven't if I'm still here. Now come on, we gotta get you to a ship.

Hillary: I am a very capable woman, thank you very much, I don't need your misogynist help.

Marco: Well if you're very capable then you would've left. Now let's go.

Intercom: Imperial troops have stormed the base, I repeat, Imperial troops have stormed the base.

Marco: Well, Princess-Secretary, let's see that woman power of yours.

Kasich: Oh, dear, we must get onto a transport immediately before we're forced to succumb to the immigration policies of Mr. Trump!


End file.
